Zakk Wylde – Bringing Metal to the Children: The Complete Berzerker’s Guide to World Tour Domination (Book Review)
Bringing Metal to the Children: The Complete Berseker’s Guide to World Tour Domination
By Zakk Wylde with Eric Hendrikx
(2012, HarperCollins/William Morrow & Co.)
While I’ve always thought Zakk comes across as a cool guy, I’ve never been a huge fan of the music he’s played. That’s not a knock on his skills, I know he’s a great guitar player it’s just that Ozzy has never appealed to me much and I think all Black Label Society albums sound the same, give or take a few tracks. Still, when the opportunity to read this book came about, I figured it would be worth looking into because Zakk is a true rock star yet seems much more down to Earth than other “rock stars”.
If you’re looking for a detailed history about Zakk’s life, you aren’t going to find it here. You do pick up bits about Zakk’s early days and his family and home life but this is less of an autobiography and more of a humorous take on the good & bad that occurs on the way to finding your place in the world as a viking god of metal. The book is what the title says: a guide to world tour domination.
Mostly told through Zakk’s voice, co-author Eric Hendrikx handles a lot of the introductions to each chapter and a number of sidebars. Each one is so hilariously over the top, making metal sound so epic and majestic you’d swear these intros were written either by Jack Black or Manowar. There are also a few other “guest” writers such as UFC fighter Forrest Griffin, WWE pro wrestler Chris Jericho, TNA pro wrestler Bully Ray (aka – Bubba Ray Dudley), Zakk’s wife and various other friends & BLS bandmates.
This book is definitely not for the timid. The book is filled with very colorful language on each page and lots of gross out humor. If you’re turned off by tons of cursing, alcohol, detailed accounts of bodily functions and lots of talks about penis & vagina don’t bother picking this book up. The things Zakk says about his wife! That gal has a great sense of humor to sign off on this book.
There are stories involving Ozzy but the book mostly focuses on Zakk’s time since starting up Black Label Society. It’s obvious Zakk takes heavy metal and the Black Label brotherhood very seriously but at the same time everything is open for jokes. I really enjoyed the self-deprecating humor that Zakk displays in the book. Nothing is off limits and the book is written tongue in cheek. He’s not some rock star looking down on everyone trying to play it off like he’s the coolest guy around (though he may be) saying “here’s what you need to do if you wanna make it like I did, kid”.
Zakk may not drink anymore but he’s comes across as the kind of guy you could just walk up to and shoot the breeze with at a bar and have totally normal conversation. Books like these can sometimes be used as a weapon to take shots at certain people but Zakk doesn’t do that here (well, maybe other than the music labels) and I have to commend him for that. It’s a fun book with not a single self-important or mean-spirited page to be found.
While Ozzy fans and BLS fans should have a particular interest in this book, I also recommend it to metal fans in general if you’re looking for a good laugh and some fun/gross stories about playing in a rock ‘n’ roll band.
Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock
By Sammy Hagar with Joel Selvin
(2011, It Books)
At 238 pages, I was able to read this one over the course of a week. Let me tell you, considering how long it usually takes me to read through a book, I’m pretty proud of myself for that. I’m not one of those people that can pick up a book and knock out most of it in one sitting. It usually takes me weeks to get just one book finished.
Anyway, Red is good light reading but it has some darker moments like when Sammy talks about his abusive alcoholic dad and his wife slowly having a nervous breakddown. Other moments like when Hagar talks about the VH reunion tour back in 2003 are just plain sad because of how out of it Eddie was at the time. But it’s weird because when Sammy talks about his dad it’s almost as if he is glorifying him, yet the Van Halen brothers come across as low-lifes.
For the most part, Sammy is pretty upbeat on his view of life but obviously still has issues with Van Halen. He seems so free-spirited and easy-going about everything in life… except his old band. Sammy even makes the (oft-repeated and ridiculous) claim that Van Hagar sold more albums than the DLR era. Not even close. Why do people continue to say this? The feather in the cap of Van Hagar is that their albums always debuted at #1, not that they sold more.
The book does not revolve entirely around Van Halen. Hagar talks about his childhood, working the club circuit, Montrose, solo career, Mexico and his various business ventures. If my memory serves correctly, there’s a few chapters that didn’t make the book that were posted online at one time. One dealt with the divorce from his first wive and the other involved some more shady business dealings with VH and the new manager they had taken on at the time (that Sammy was not getting along with).
A good read overall. There’s enough Van Halen drama for those that like their biographies to dish the dirt while giving us a deeper look into the world of Sammy Hagar. Recommended.
Rat Salad: Black Sabbath, The Classic Years, 1969 – 1975
(2006, St. Martin’s Press)
By Paul Wilkinson
Here is a short review for a book I had considered buying on and off for years. While I have read a number of Black Sabbath books, I held off on this for awhile because it focuses on the Ozzy era up through 1975 and it’s well-known that I prefer the likes of Ronnie James Dio & Tony Martin over Ozzy Osbourne’s tenure. Still, when I found out it was available from the local library, I checked it out and gave it a shot.
To be honest, I got about 80 pages into this 240 page book before I decided to walk away from it. I am a huge Sabbath fan but you not only need to be a major Ozzy-era fan but also a musician to really get the most out of this book. All the talk about C sharp, E minor or whatever is absolutely boring to me. I am not a musician, so that detailed information means nothing to my brain. I read a review that stated this book is like a text book, in some ways, I agree.
In addition to that, the author tries to interject his own personal history into the book. I found this to be quite odd and it really disrupts the flow of the book whenever he delves into his personal life. If he wants to talk about how Sabbath affected his teenage years, fine, but I don’t care to learn about his school days, his best friends or first kiss. It’s really out of place and the author comes off as a self-important snob but then I guess most of us music critics are exactly that.
Bottom line: if you love the early years of Black Sabbath AND are a musician, you’ll probably like the book a lot. For those of us that like to listen but can’t play a note, there are much better books on Black Sabbath out there.