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DEF LEPPARD – On Through the Night

Def Leppard – On Through the Night (1980, Mercury Records)

1. “Rock Brigade” (3:09)
2. “Hello America” (3:27)
3. “Sorrow Is A Woman” (3:54)
4. “It Could Be You” (2:33)
5. “Satellite” (4:28)
6. “When the Walls Came Tumbling Down” (4:44)
7. “Wasted” (3:45)
8. “Rocks Off” (3:42)
9. “It Don’t Matter” (3:21)
10. “Answer to the Master” (3:13)
11. “Overture” (7:44)

Band:
Joe Elliott – Lead Vocals
Steve Clark – Guitar, Backing Vocals
Pete Willis – Guitar, Backing Vocals
Rick Savage – Bass, Backing Vocals
Rick Allen – Drums, Backing Vocals

Additional Musicians:
Chris Hughes – Synthesizer

Produced by: Tom Allom

Wait… What is this? Is this a Def Leppard album? Is this HEAVY METAL? “Yes” to both questions!

Despite Joe Elliott’s statements that Def Leppard were NEVER “heavy metal” (Seriously, Joe, are you trying to convince the fans or yourself?), this is indeed a heavy metal album. New Wave of British Heavy Metal, to be exact. I didn’t buy this album until far into being a fan of Def Leppard. I loved the “Mutt Lange sound” so much that hearing them do heavy metal wasn’t a top priority for me.

I’ve probably owned this album for about 7 or 8 years now and while I rarely listen to it, it’s a definite NWOBHM classic. I prefer the pop metal/glam rock sound the band would later evolve to, but you can’t deny the power behind metal classics like “Rock Brigade”, “It Could Be You”, “Rocks Off” and “Wasted” (my favorite song from this album). IF the band had continued in this heavy metal direction, they would’ve been doing just fine. More than likely, they wouldn’t have been as popular, but they could’ve been a great heavy metal band nonetheless.

You can really see how far Joe has come as a vocalist. He’s got the generic NWOBHM whiny/nasally vocals down here, but it pales in comparison to what he would do later. He’s not necessarily a great singer, but I’ve always enjoyed his voice.

Nearly 30 years after this album’s release, there are still some rock fans who call out for Def Leppard to “return to their roots” and get all New Wave of British Heavy Metal on us. Well, I think it is time to STOP saying that!

It’s been DECADES since On Through the Night and High ‘n’ Dry (which was somewhat of a bridge between this album and Pyromania anyway) and they were their first two albums. Many bands evolve as they continue to tour and record. Sometimes their “roots” aren’t really afforded the opportunity to shine until the band has proven themselves as a solid and bankable act. How many bands can say they sound exactly like they did on their first release? And would that even be a good thing to say? As far as I’m concerned, the sound they put in motion with legendary producer Mutt Lange is their “roots”. That sound has more in common with the glitter & glam rock they grew up on than this album does.

Longtime Judas Priest producer Tom Allom sat in the chair for these sessions. Not surprisingly, the band has kind of turned their back on this album, even going as far to say that High ‘n’ Dry is their first “real” release.

Highlights: “Rock Brigade”, “Sorrow Is A Woman”, “It Could Be You”, “When the Walls Came Tumbling Down”, “Wasted”, “Rocks Off”

www.defleppard.com
www.myspace.com/defleppard

VAN HALEN – OU812

Van Halen – OU812 (1988, Warner Bros. Records)

1. “Mine All Mine” … 5:11
2. “When It’s Love” … 5:36
3. “A.F.U. (Naturally Wired)” … 4:28
4. “Cabo Wabo” … 7:04
5. “Source of Infection” … 3:58
6. “Feels So Good” … 4:27
7. “Finish What Ya Started” … 4:20
8. “Black and Blue” … 5:24
9. “Sucker in a 3 Piece” … 5:52
10. “A Apolitical Blues” … 3:50

Band:
Sammy Hagar – Lead Vocals, Guitar
Eddie Van Halen – Guitar, Keyboards, Backing Vocals
Michael Anthony – Bass, Backing Vocals
Alex Van Halen – Drums, Percussion

Produced by: Van Halen and Don Landee

Van Hagar Halen continues their descent into the “adult contemporary” genre, just take a look at that cover and tell me it doesn’t scream “BORING”. Looks like something from the ’60s or ’70s. It started with the band’s debut with Hagar on 1986′s 5150 (which was actually was a really good slick hard rock/pop album), but this time that fun vibe that album continued over from the David Lee Roth era is gone.

Sure, some of the good time subject matter is still here (sex, booze, partying in general), but it seems a bit more grown up and dark, if that’s possible when talking about having a good time. The album is definitely lifted by the great pop ballad “When It’s Love” and the awesome country-picking of “Finish What Ya Started” (two of my favorite Van Hagar songs).

OU812 is a really odd departure for the band that never really gets out of 2nd gear outside of “Source of Infection”, which sounds like the hard rockin’ Van Halen of old. Even more odd when you consider this album is sandwiched in between the two most fun and most Roth-like Van Hagar albums: 5150 and For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.

Highlights: “Mine All Mine”, “When It’s Love”, “Source of Infection”, “Feels So Good”, “Finish What Ya Started”

www.van-halen.com

KISS – Unmasked

KISS – Unmasked [Remastered] (1997, Mercury Records/Casablanca Records)
Original Release: 1980, Casablanca Records

1. “Is That You?” … 3:57
2. “Shandi” … 3:35
3. “Talk to Me” … 4:01
4. “Naked City” … 3:50
5. “What Makes the World Go ’round” … 4:12
6. “Tomorrow” … 3:16
7. “Two Sides of the Coin” … 3:15
8. “She’s So European” … 3:30
9. “Easy as It Seems” … 3:24
10.”Torpedo Girl” … 3:44
11.”You’re All That I Want” … 3:02

Band:
Gene Simmons – Lead Vocals, Bass
Paul Stanley – Lead Vocals, Guitar, Bass
Ace Frehley – Guitar, Lead Vocals, Bass
Peter Criss – Drums (credited, did not play)

Additional Musicians:
Anton Fig – Drums (uncredited)
Vini Poncia – Keyboards, Backing Vocals, Percussion
Holly Knight – Keyboards (“Shandi”)

Produced by: Vini Poncia

There’s not a single KISS album that I don’t like. KISS is my favorite band and despite the disco pop found on this album, I still like it. It’s funny because if this was released by an actual disco/pop act, I’d have no interest it it. So, I know, I know… I’m biased. If pressed, I will admit that this is my least favorite KISS album, but it’s a  guilty pleasure and I’ve always enjoyed the goofy comic book cover. Unmasked would’ve been a great album title for Lick It Up. Given that it would be another 3 years before they actually did unmasked, the title doesn’t really make a lot of sense (and all suspense that the title would bring is erased by the cover art).

With the success of “I Was Made for Lovin’ You” from Dynasty, KISS basically decided to an all album full of “I Was Made for Lovin’ Yous” and Dynasty producer Vini Poncia was back again to help the band achieve that.

This was the final album from the original four members, until the reunion. Peter Criss was not involved in the recording/writing of this album at all and he was gone from the band shortly after Unmasked was released (Anton Fig recorded the drums and Eric Carr would play on the ensuing tour).

Many of these songs could have actually been solid rockers had the album’s production not been given a disco pop sheen. I especially think “What Makes the World Go ’round” and “Easy As It Seems” could’ve been great traditional KISS rockers.

Though the album went gold in the U.S. in short order, it was not a success at all and the album’s lone single, “Shandi” failed to break the Top 40. Apparently, the album went over well internationally and “Shandi” was a HUGE hit for the band in Australia (where they played it every time they tour there).

Highlights: “Is That You?”, “Shandi”, “Talk to Me”, “Naked City”, “What Makes the World Go ’round”, “Easy As It Seems”

www.kissonline.com

AMERICAN HI-FI – American Hi-Fi

American Hi-Fi – American Hi-Fi (2001, Island Records)

1. “Surround” … 3:11
2. “Flavor of the Weak” … 3:08
3. “A Bigger Mood” … 3:38
4. “Safer on the Outside” … 4:01
5. “I’m a Fool” … 4:00
6. “Hi-Fi Killer” … 3:05
7. “Blue Day” … 3:33
8. “My Only Enemy” … 3:27
9. “Don’t Wait for the Sun” … 3:50
10. “Another Perfect Day” … 3:38
11. “Scar” … 4:03
12. “What About Today” … 3:34
13. “Wall of Sound” … 5:48

Band:
Stacy Jones – Vocals, Guitar
Jamie Arentzen – Guitar
Drew Parsons – Bass
Brian Nolan – Drums

Produced by: Bob Rock

Another album from 2001 that really worked for me during a time of hudge drama. American Hi-Fi are a blend of alternative, power pop and pop punk (which was an extremely popular genre in the early 00s). I’ve never really cared for pop punk, but I was heavily into modern day power pop at the time with bands like Tsar, 40 Ft. Ringo, Lit, Zebrahead, Weezer and of course, one my favorite bands of all time Marvelous 3. American Hi-Fi came along went a sound that was slick and not too slick. The album has more of an alternative rock edge than the previously mentioned bands’ work and it’s not quite as cheery and carefree.

I spent a lot of time sitting on the bed with my headphones on, using a DISCMAN,  in my friend’s house in Virginia (where I stayed while going to college for a semester) listening to the melancholy/aggressive songs like “Safer on the Outside”, “My Only Enemy” (which, with a little more sprucing up, could be a NIN song) and “Don’t Wait for the Sun”. I got a lot of poetry done being inspired by the music and the word of Stacy Jones.

“Flavor of the Weak” hit #5 on Billboard’s Modern Rock charts, but it’s a shame the album wasn’t more successful, it’s definitely a worthwhile rock/pop entry for the early 2000s.

The band has been in limbo for a few years after The Art of Losing (2003) and Hearts on Parade (2005, and produced by Butch Walker!) were commercial failures. Supposedly, a new album, which was initially planned for 2008, is still on the horizon. In the meantime, Jones has gone on to produce a number of albums and is the “music director” for Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus and is also her touring drummer.

Highlights: “Flavor of the Weak”, “A Bigger Mood”, “Safer on the Outside”, “My Only Enemy”, “”Don’t Wait for the Sun”, “Another Perfect Day”, “Wall of Sound”

www.americanhi-fi.com
www.myspace.com/americanhifi

AEROSMITH – Nine Lives

Aerosmith – Nine Lives (1997, Columbia Records)

1. “Nine Lives” … 4:01
2. “Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees)” … 3:25
3. “Hole in My Soul” … 6:10
4. “Taste of India” … 5:53
5. “Full Circle” … 5:00
6. “Something’s Gotta Give” … 3:36
7. “Ain’t That a Bitch” … 5:25
8. “The Farm” … 4:27
9. “Crash” … 4:25
10. “Kiss Your Past Good-Bye” … 4:31
11. “Pink” … 3:55
12. “Attitude Adjustment” … 3:44
13. “Fallen Angels” … 8:16

Band:
Steven Tyler – Lead Vocals, Harmonica, Keyboard, Percussion, Hammered Dulcimer
Joe Perry – Guitar, Backing Vocals, Dulcimer, Slide Guitar
Brad Whitford – Guitar
Tom Hamilton – Bass, Chapman stick
Joey Kramer – Drums

Produced by: Aerosmith and Kevin Shirley

This was my first Aerosmith album and it was just a weird time for me in general what with being in high school and all. I used to come home and listen to this album everyday so it takes me back to those early high school years whenever I hear this.

Definitely not one of Aerosmith’s best. Half the tunes are good, the rest is trash and I’m not a fan of the “taste of India” (if you’ll pardon the pun) that the band gave this album. “Hole in My Soul” and “Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees)” are really good Pump/Get a Grip-era Aerosmith tunes though.

Aerosmith has done some great commercial hard rock, but they’re always better when they just stick with the bluesy hard rock and this album was far from that sound and should probably only be picked up by completists. But hey, this album went double platinum in the middle of the alternative rock scene, so what do I know?

Highlights: “Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees)”, “Hole in My Soul”, “Full Circle”, “Ain’t That a Bitch”, “Crash”, “Kiss Your Past Good-Bye”, “Fallen Angels”

www.aerosmith.com
www.myspace.com/aerosmith

BUTCH WALKER – Left of Self-Centered

Butch Walker – Left of Self-Centered (2002, Arista Records)

Track List:
1. “Rock Vocal Power” … 1:56
2. “My Way” … 4:00
3. “Suburbia” … 4:07
4. “Trouble” … 3:58
5. “Alicia Amnesia” … 3:42
6. “Sober” … 3:20
7. “Into the Black” … 3:38
8. “Get Down” … 4:03
9. “Far Away from Close” … 3:52
10. “Diary of a San Fernando Sexx Star” … 3:39
11. “If (Jeannie’s Song)” … 4:53
12. “Take Tomorrow (One Day at a Time)” … 4:30
13. — … 14:58
14. “Get Stupid with You”…  4:58

Band:
Butch Walker – Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Piano, Keyboard

Additional Musicians:
Nikki Sixx – Bass
Greg Lee – Bass
Kenny Cresswell – Drums, Backing Vocals
Mitch “Slug” McLee – Drums
Jim Ebert – Moog Synthesizer, Keyboard
Matt Mahaffey – Keyboard, Scratching
Chrystina Lloree – Backing Vocals
Peter Searcy – Cello
Harold Sellers – Congas

Produced by: Butch Walker, Jim Ebert, Matt Mahaffey

With a career only spanning three albums (though I’m forever holding out hope a we’ll get a reunion and a fourth release someday), Marvelous 3 became one of my favorite bands and produced one of my favorite albums with ReadySexGo. Marvelous 3 called it quits in 2001 and front man/songwriter Butch Walker surfaced in 2002 with this, his very first solo release.

It’s very much a continuation of what Marvelous 3 had been doing with the great blend of glam, punk, pop and hard rock. Nothing but giant hooks and huge choruses. If M3 had stuck around and followed ReadySexGo with a new album, I can’t imagine it sounding much different than this. Unfortunately, Left of Self-Centered would be the last in-your-face hard rock/pop release by Butch Walker, I guess he’d rather write & produce those types of songs for other artists (Avril Lavigne, Lit, Fall Out Boy, Katy Perry, Pink) than himself because his albums since have been a bit more emo, mellow and acoustic than I would like.

Butch certainly does have a way with words and  great sense of humor. I like how the lyrics flow together and the next line plays off the previous one. The lyrics are almost as enjoyable as the music itself.

“My Way” was the song during the opening credits of the awful Jason Lee/Tom Green movie ‘Stealing Harvard’, if I’m not mistaken.

“Get Stupid with You” is a “hidden” asTrack 14. Track 13 is nearly 15 minutes of silence.

Highlights: “My Way”, “Suburbia”, “Trouble”, “Alicia Amnesia”, “Sober”, “Into the Black”, “Get Down”, “If (Jeannie’s Song)”

www.butchwalker.com
www.myspace.com/butchwalker

AEROSMITH – Just Push Play

Aerosmith – Just Push Play (2001, Columbia Records)

Track List:
1. “Beyond Beautiful” …  4:45
2.”Just Push Play” … 3:51
3. “Jaded” … 3:34
4. “Fly Away from Here” … 5:01
5.”Trip Hoppin’” … 4:27
6. “Sunshine” … 3:37
7. “Under My Skin” … 3:45
8. “Luv Lies” … 4:26
9. “Outta Your Head” … 3:22
10. “Drop Dead Gorgeous” … 3:42
11. “Light Inside” … 3:34
12. “Avant Garden” … 4:52

Band:
Steven Tyler – Vocals, Harmonica, Piano, Guitar, Drums
Joe Perry – Guitar, Vocals
Brad Whitford – Guitar
Tom Hamilton – Bass
Joey Kramer – Drums

Additional Musicians:
Tony Perry – Guitar, Pedal Steel, Backing Vocals, Hurdygurdy, Slide Guitar
Jim Cox – Piano
Dan Higgins – Clarinet, Saxophone
Paul Santo – Hammond Organ, Kurzweil Synthesizer
Tower of Power – Horns
Liv Tyler – Whispering
Chelsea Tyler – Backing vocals

Produced by: Marti Frederiksen, Mark Hudson, Joe Perry, Steven Tyler

Coming four years after Nine Lives, Aerosmith continues the slick pop-polished commercial hard rock they started with 1987′s Permanent Vacation. Not that commercial Aerosmith isn’t good, they’ve knocked out some great songs since the late 80s, but I’ve always wanted them to get their 1970s hard rock edge back and songs like “Trip Hoppin’” and “Sunshine” definitely don’t have that edge.

Given years of perspective, Just Push Play is actually a decent album, but nothing great. I remember being really disappointed with it when it first came out though. It’s a better effort than Nine Lives, but the band tries to sound way too modern, in terms of production on songs like “Beyond Beautiful”, “Just Push Play” and the megahit “Jaded” and it definitely takes the bite out of the album, even if the songs are catchy. “Under My Skin” shows a bit of old school Aerosmith, but also uses the commercial sound of the band as well. Then there’s “Outta Your Head”, which kinda sounds like rap-metal in parts. Huh.

Hey, I’m not really knocking these songs. Like I said, they’re enjoyable, but way too slick. It’s time for Aerosmith to get back to their dirty rock ‘n’ roll roots.

Oh, and there’s a “hidden” reprise for “Avant Garden” at about the 5:30 mark.

Highlights: “Beyond Beautiful”, “Just Push Play”, “Jaded”, “Fly Away from Here”, “Luv Lies”, “Outta Your Head”, “Drop Dead Gorgeous”

www.aerosmith.com
www.myspace.com/aerosmith

BON JOVI – Crush

Bon Jovi – Crush (2000, Island Records/Def Jam Music)

Track Listing:
1. “It’s My Life” … 3:44
2. “Say It Isn’t So” … 3:33
3. “Thank You for Loving Me” … 5:07
4. “Two Story Town” … 5:10
5. “Next 100 Years” … 6:19
6. “Just Older” … 4:28
7. “Mystery Train” … 5:16
8. “Save the World” … 5:31
9. “Captain Crash & the Beauty Queen From Mars” … 4:31
10. “She’s a Mystery” … 5:18
11. “I Got the Girl” … 4:35
12. “One Wild Night” … 4:18

Band:
Jon Bon Jovi – Lead Vocals
Richie Sambora – Guitar, Backing Vocals
Tico Torres – Drums, Percussion
David Bryan – Keyboard, Piano, Backing Vocals

Additional Musicians:
Hugh McDonald – Bass, Backing Vocals

Produced by: Luke Ebbin, Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora

5 years after the dark, somber, melancholy These Days, Bon Jovi decided it was time to make music again and went in the complete opposite direction with the very bombastic, poppy, syrupy Crush.

Not that I’m complaining. I love both albums, but while These Days took some getting used to, I instantly embraced Crush because it’s not too far removed from the usual bombastic, poppy, syrupy sounds of Bon Jovi. The only difference is the band brought in “boy band” songwriter Max Martin (“It’s My Life”) but also balanced it out with a bit more of a mature sound (“She’s A Mystery”, “Just Older”, “Save the World”).

It’s not a hard rocking album for the most part (Bounce actually rocks harder than this),  it’s very much a pop album, but I still love it. “It’s My Life” though somewhat boy bandish is an incredibly catchy song and I loved that in 2000 I was hearing brand new Bon Jovi on the radio. All three singles (the other two being “Say It Isn’t So” and “Thank You For Loving Me”) are my favorite songs from the album, but the slower moments like “Mystery Train” and “She’s A Mystery” are really enjoyable too.

Probably my only complaint with be the lack of originality. I remember an old review stating that “Say It Isn’t So” and “Two Story Town” ripped off Lit and Joan Osbourne, respectively, and it’s absolutely true. “Two Story Town” seems to be such a near carbon copy of “What If God Was One of Us” that I’m surprised Joan didn’t sue. Also, their use of two “Mystery” songs has always bothered me (even though I love both songs), just like GNR’s “The Garden” and “The Garden of Eden” on Use Your Illusion I, it’s always annoyed me.

The album has a great closer with “One Wild Night” which is the one song that reminds me most of the Bon Jovi of the 80s. This song could’ve easily been on New Jersey right alongside “99 in the Shade” and “Love For Sale”.

Highlights: “It’s My Life”, “Say It Isn’t So”, “Thank You For Loving Me”, “Just Older”, “Mystery Train”, “Save the World”, “She’s a Mystery”, “One Wild Night”

www.bonjovi.com
www.myspace.com/bonjovi

Looking forward to in 2009…

2008 gave us tons of great rock/metal albums, but we gotta keep movin’ on! Here’s the bands I’m looking forward to most, who are slated to have new albums released:

KISS – THE most looked forward to release for ’09 for me. With Paul producing, promises of a 1970s KISS vibe, and Tommy & Eric in the studio, I have no doubt this album will deliver.

Megadeth – My 2nd most anticipated release. United Abominations was a slight step down from The System Has Failed, but still high quality. I know Dave is going to get it done again.

Heaven And Hell – Dio-era Black Sabbath. ‘Nuff said! Can’t wait to hear what these guys have cooked up.

Iron Maiden - Bruce Dickinson says something new will pop up…

Anthrax – While I wish John (or even Joey) was still in the band, I’m looking forward to the release of Worship Music.

Bon Jovi -  Another greatest hits is in the works for ’09 and Jon & Richie are reportedly working on new material for the next studio album. Richie has stated they’ll be moving away from the country sounds of Lost Highway, which is great news to me. I suppose the hits comp will be the only Bon Jovi release of 2009, but hopefully, the greatest hits record will give us a taste of their next musical step with a new song or two. Despite the recent disappointments, Bon Jovi is a band I’ll always give a chance to win me back.

Ace Frehley – Tentatively planned to be released in Spring 2008, there’s been little word from Ace about his latest solo effort since that season has come and gone. Some song ideas reportedly go back to the early-90s. Is this Ace’s Chinese Democracy? Hey, I hear KISS is putting out a new album in 2009, what better time than Ace to get a bit of that spotlight and release his own album? KISS tour with Ace as the supporting act, anyone?

Hot Leg - The new band from Justin Hawkins, the former frontman for The Darkness, is due for a release in January. From what they’ve released online, it sounds just as silly as The Darkness was and I’m okay with that.

Slash – A new Velvet Revolver album seems unlikely (at least for 2009), but I’m really curious as to what Slash has got in his top hat for a solo release.

Who else?

VH1: The Big 80′s Power Ballads

VH1: The Big 80′s Power Ballads (1999, Rhino Records)

Track Listing:
1. “Fly to the Angels” – Slaughter … (5:08)
2. “Something to Believe In”  – Poison … (5:30)
3. “Amanda”  – Boston … (4:17)
4. “I Want to Know What Love Is” – Foreigner 5:01
5. “Alone Again”  – Dokken … (4:22)
6. “House of Pain”  – Faster Pussycat … (5:47)
7. “The Search Is Over” – Survivor … (4:13)
8. “Is This Love” – Whitesnake … (4:43)
9. “We Belong” – Pat Benatar … (3:39)
10. “Don’t Close Your Eyes”  – Kix … (4:19)
11. “What Does It Take”  – Honeymoon Suite … (4:16)
12. “Missing You” – John Waite … (4:29)
13. “Miles Away” – Winger … (4:12)
14. “When the Children Cry” – White Lion … (4:07)
15. “Goodbye” – Night Ranger … (4:21)
16. “Fly High Michelle” – Enuff Z’nuff … (4:17)

The late 1990s and early 2000s were a time of 80s nostalgia. Clothes, movies, music. One of the biggest flagwavers of 80s retro was VH1, who scored with the popular Behind The Music show, Pop Up Videos, and tons of 1980s-centric specials.

Not surprisingly, they also released their own compilations of 80′s tunes in a series called The Big 80′s. The Monster series of hair metal compilations from Razor & Tie Records proved popular and one of their most popular entries was Monster Ballads, so it only made sense for VH1 to release their own CD of hair ballads and tie it all in with the Big 80′s series.

There are TONS of other power ballad comps out there on the market, but this one and Monster Ballads are the absolute best and the bonus is that the people at Rhino & VH1 must’ve been paying attention because there’s only three songs that appear on both compilations (“Something to Believe In”, “Is This Love” and “Don’t Close Your Eyes”).

Essentially, this *is* a hair ballad CD, though a few artists like Boston, Honeymoon Suite, Foreigner, Pat Benatar, Survivor and John Waite slip in, but the songs fit right in with the mood. Even if those artist aren’t hair metal acts, they certainly did produce hair metal ballads.
Power ballads are what got me into the hair scene in the first place (every hair metal act should have 2 or 3 great ones in their catalog), so this is right up there as one of my favorite albums. And yes, being the sap that I am, I would crank this during troubled relationship times when I was younger.
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